A Day in The Life of a Faceache
by writingnjunk
Summary: One day in the crazy life of 2D, including a trip to the emergency room for a forked stomach, a car chase, 2D'S newfound fear of camera's, and ofcourse, noodles young adorableness : T for language. ONE SHOT :


**NOTE THINGY: Hey earthlings! Okay, so this will have to be a oneshot :P and unfortunately... THIRD PERSON! :P i dont like using third person, just cause i think from somones point of view is more creative.. and when its in thir person.. it sounds kind of creepy.. like some random dude is just chillin there, telling the story? Blahh, it will have to do for now...**

**A Day In The life of a Faceache:**

**10:33 AM**

Swimming in a pleasent dream filled with women, and shiny new keyboards, Stuart Pot (or 2D as his fans and bandmates call him), Lyes untouched by the outside world, and quite unawear of what goes on outside his pretty young head. On the contrary even, The young Stu, though neck deep in dreamland, is quite prepared for a normal day, or as normal as things can get in the world of Gorillaz. But even a sweet dream chock full of fresh-off-the-shelve melodicas, and rooms upon rooms of bouncing giggling large breasted women, wont be enough to soothe the stress of the poor boy once he wakes up, in about 3..2..

"ONE, ACTION!" A squat little director shouts, and at her word the camera's begin rolling on a still asleep 2D. And even after her shrill shreek of a voice is sounded, he still lyes dreaming in his bed.

The director scratches her head, than moving on to pick her sow like nose.

"Why isnt he waking up? We've got a documentary to make you know." She aims her voice at a tall, thin man with a greasy moustache, who also perches a camera on his broad shoulder.

The thin man shrugs.

"Dont know. Should me ask Mr. Niccals?"

But that isnt needed for, right on cue, Mr. Murdoc Niccals joins the scene, flinging open the door. A nasty mood outlines him as he bares his razory green teethe.

"Is that twit not up yet? Wake the boy up!" Murdoc Suggests.

The squat director woman sighs, and tousles her short brown hair with a stubby finger.

"We cant do that, this is a documentary on a day in 2D's Life, and it cant be scripted. Those are our orders."

Murdoc raises an eyebrow through his thick black hair. "Orders? Your a DIRECTOR for satans sake woman! YOUR SUPPOSED TO RUN THIS."

The thin greasy camera man shrugs.

" Weve been given orders, and we intend to follow them thoroughly Mr. Niccals."

Murdoc, Clearly unhappy with the situation, rolls his eyes and groans.

"Orders my ARSE. I dont see how you can call this damned thing a documentary.. You might as well call it a childrens show! Thats what this moron acts like.." Murdoc growls, and gestures to a sleeping 2D.

The tall greasy man fiddles with his camera.

"You only say that mr. Niccals, because this isnt about you.." This remark, has clearly aggitated murdoc.

"OY!" He hisses. "What are you saying punk? Disrespect in my own studio? WHY I SHOULD-"

Just as murdoc's fuse is about blown, The young and spunky noodle crashes in behind him, and hits him over the head with what apears to be a carp.

"Ochitsuke! Okyakusama o sonchō suru!" She shouts, waving her finger at murdoc, who rubs his head and groans.

"Owch! What in the hell is she saying?"

Russel enters behind noodle and russel, with a small book in his hand. He peers into it for a moment, and pulls his head back up.

"Calm down. Respect the guests. I think thats what she said?"

"ILL RESPECT THESE BAFOONS WHEN THEY-"

Another blow from noodles fish, strikes murdoc directly in the head.

"Shizukani! 2 D-san wa nemutte iru."

Murdoc looks back to russel, who looks this unknown sentence up in the book. After a bit, he looks up again.

"Quiet.. 2D san is sleeping."

"THATS THE PROBLEM-"

Yet another blow to the head from noodles carp, strikes murdoc down. A tug on russels jacket from the tiny girl, brings him down to hear her whisper somthing in her ear. He turns his head to the book, than begins to laugh.

"Good one Noods."

Murdoc has clearly lost it by now, and smoke is almost visible to be radiating from his ears. Taking the fish from noodle, he stomps over to be beside the still asleep 2d, and knocks him in the head with it.

"WAKE UP YOU SORRY SON OF A BITCH."

A shocked stuart, quickly jolts up to protect his head and scoot back from murdoc. "Im up! What in the hell?"

2d gapes around the room at the many cameras and strangers, with a horrified look taped onto his face. He pulls the covers up to his nose, and begins to shutter.

"What in the name of? Muds, what did you do? IM SORRY I USED YOUR CAPE TO CLEAN THE TOILETS, I THOUGHT IT WAS A TOWEL! DONT LET THE SPYS KILL ME."

All the witnesses of this little outburst just stare silently, including murdoc who's face is twisted into an angry scowel.

2D looks around the room.

"Your not.. spy's.. are you?"

"Were from channel thirty four.." The director woman says awkwardly. "This is a documentary.. on a day in your life."

The room stays silent, until russel lets out a small laugh.

"Thats why his cape smelled shittier than usual."

_  
**10:58 AM**

The dysfunctional family of Gorillaz, all sit uncomfortably around a breakfast table, two or three camera's in every direction they look.

Murdoc takes a break from chewing somthing to turn his head to 2D.

"Stuart, just fucking eat, its not that hard." He whispers to a shaking 2D, who looks as though he's about to faint.

"I cant!" 2D replies. "Not with all these cameras, what if i muck somthing up?"

"We do music video's and interviews all the time D." Russel adds. "This isnt that different.

"People tell us what to do on those!" 2D shakes. "This is different, we have to make stuff up!"

"This is just your LIFE they're recording." Murdoc says quietly. "Its no different than just acting how you do every day you moron. Now be a good boy and eat."

"I cant!" 2d protests.

"Anata ga tsūjō okonau hōhō dake de sunde imasu. Subete ga daijōbudeshou." Noodle says brightly.

Russel pulls out his book again, and reads from it. "She says... Just live how you normally do. Everything will be okay."

Once more, 2d protests.

"I cant!"

"Sweet satan." Murdoc murmurs. "Your going to act like an infant, YOUR GOING TO EAT LIKE ONE."

On this word, murdoc clambers over the table, to grab 2d's spoon from his bowl, and force it down 2d's throat, knocking them both to the ground where murdoc continues to cram food into 2d's mouth.

Noodle follows, with the fish that she's still holding, beating murdoc in severall areas with it. At the opposite end, Russel continues to eat normally.

"Damn idiots, i dont give a shit, im finishing my food." Russel mutters, as the chaos trails on.

**12: 45**

Numerous beeps, bloops, and other hospital noises beat through the emergency room of_ Pleasent Death Hospital_, where our young 2D is a frequent visitor due to murdoc's many beatings, such as today, where in said emergency room, the camera's continue to roll on murdoc, who strolls out of a hospital room with an amused look on his face.

"Well, what'd the doctors say?" Russel asks from a waiting chair.

"They'v got to remove the spoon from his stomach." Murdoc snickers, and holds up a blurred X-ray, of what apears to be 2D's stomach. The black photo shows an oblong object, stamped right in the middle of the boy's body. Russel stands up and grabs murdoc by the collar of his shirt, lifting him a bit above the ground.

"He dies, im gonna make sure we'l be sprinkling YOUR ashes on his grave blud." Russel sets murdoc down ungently, as murdoc holds the X-ray picture up again.

"You HAVE to admit russ, this is damn funny. I mean look, the spoon is just RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE of him!"

Russel's hard face breaks a bit, to let out a laugh. "That's really a spoon?"

The men laugh, as noodle shakes her head in disgust.

"O ni-ri wa hajirubeki. Anata no yūjin ga kega o shite imasu!"

Russel translates. "You two should be shamed. Your friend is hurt."

Murdoc shrugs, and kneels down to show noodle the picture. After a moment of staring at it, she puts a small hand in front of her mouth and giggles.

"Sore wa hontōni supūndesu ka?"

Russel laughs, and reads from the book. "Is that really a spoon, she says."

"Thats what I SAID." Murdoc laughs, as the three of them laugh heavily at their friend's expense, who in the next room, is currently having a spoon removed from his stomach. Owch.

**1:34 AM:**

Murdoc's car speeds away from the hospital with his three other bandmates packed inside. Stealing a patient from the hospital, is in fact a crime frowned heavily upon in Essex.

2D groans. "My stomach hurts."

Murdoc takes his eyes off the road to look back at the sickly 2D.

"Yeah, well youve just had a spoon dug out of it. Hmm. I wonder why."

"Why are we leaving?" 2D asks. "They said i was supposed to heal.

"We've got songs to record bucko." Murdoc says. "Now quiet boy, save your voice."

"But it hurts!" 2D begins to whine, when russel clasps a large hand over the boy's mouth.

"Talkin aint gon make it better. Shut up.

The car stays silent for a bit, Noodle puts a finger to her chin and speaks up.

"Keisatsu wa watashitachi no haigo ni aru."

Russel reads out of the book."She says." Not finishing his sentence, he looks behind him.

"Oh shit."

"she said that?" Murdoc asks. "Good girl!"

Russel shakes his head. "No, no she said: The police are behind us, and i said OH SHIT CAUSE SHE'S FUCKIN RIGHT."

'Huh?" Murdoc turns his head, to see that russel and noodle were right. Behind the speeding car, another car chases. A police car. The siren begins to wale and a heavy voice creams out the police speaker.

"PULL OVER. RETURN THE PATIENT, OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED."

"shit." Murdoc hisses. "Pigs'l stop at nothing i tell ya. Well, might as well speed it up."

The car speeds up, and 2D wakes from the nap he was apparently taking. "Muds, what's going on?"

"The cops got pissed, cause we werent supposed to take you yet."

"So why dont you take me back?"

Murdoc sighs. "We've got an album to make faceache, go back to sleep."

"Watashitachi no ushironi-betsu no kuruma ga ari" Noodle says.

Russel does the honors. "She says..Theres another car behind us."

The group looks back to see a silver van, speeding up behind the cop car, camera's and microphones dangling out every window.

"A car chase." Murdoc scoffs. "S'pose theyl eat this up, now wont they? Well, might as well give em what they want."

Murdoc high tails it down the road, wheels spinning out of controll. Where they're going? Only gorilaz themselves know.

**1 Week later, 7:00 PM.**

A flash indicates the switching off of a tv, and the end of a program. A program specifically about a day in the life of 2D, and titled as so.

"My stomach still hurts." 2d sighs, stretching his long arms.

"Quiet. No better if talk." Noodle says. Murdoc laughs.

"I taught her that one. She's learning, ill tell you that!"

Russel enters the room with a phone in his hand.

"Hey, good news!" He says.

"If it hasnt got anything to do with tits or booze, i dont want to hear it."

"quiet!" Noodle hisses at him. "No better if talk."

"Alright now your over doing it love." Murdoc says bitterly.

"That was the channel that did D's show thing." Russel says.

"They want to continue it, and do a WEEK in the life of 2D."

"Hey, sounds alright." Murdoc shrugs. "What do you think stu-"

Under the couch, is a shaking stuart, who peeks his head out only once to get his point across.

"Over my forkless stomach."

**And.. There ya go! Oh noodle :) Ofcourse, if youve read rise of the ogre, she already speaks english ofcourse, and she's just messing with them right now. Haha. Hope you all enjoyed it! Tell me what you thought!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! :)**

**-Writingnjunk**


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